Nonviolent Communication (NVC)

What is Nonviolent Communication(NVC)

Nonviolent Communication (NVC), also referred with Compassionate Communication and other names is a life-skill, guidance, consciousness & practice.

The words 'Non Violent Communication' may suggest that it is about how to have kinder, gentle dialogues. But that is only a part of it. NVC is integration of many things, like focus, awareness or consciousness, spirituality, language & communication, practices & processes, and skills.

• NVC is an emotional intelligence life-skill of connecting with life in self & others,
• Through conscious observing and empathetic presence & listening,
• And rooted in such conscious empathetic connection;
  Communicating authentically & clearly,
  
• Which open and create possibilities for more compassion, connection and life-serving for all, individually & collectively,
  (than many life-alienating habitual ways of reacting, thinking & communicating)

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) provides us,

• Consciousness, Spirituality, Practical Guidance for living and relating with life
• Simple, Practical, Clear, yet Powerful Practices & Processes
• Process language to connect with life in ourselves as well as others

NVC opens new ways focusing, communicating and connecting with self and with others.

NVC can also be perceived as 'Technology for Human Connection'

The NVC Method

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) first focuses on creating connection, with life in us, and also with life in others, by focussing our attention on
(A) Needs the life is trying to or longing to serve, and,
(B) Feelings/Emotions or Experiencing that gets alive in the body

Rooted in such connection and empathy, and expressing authentically, communication can happen which tries to bring more & more clarity & connection with life in self and with others, and later strategies are explored and requested in trying to serve needs of different stakeholders involved.

NVC Applications: How and Where Non Violent Communication is being used

Non Violent communication is used by many practitioners throughout the world for different uses, from individual to collective wellbeing.

Benefits received through living NVC may include but not limited to,

• Improved health, wellbeing, relationships, harmony, peace
• In Self, Families, Groups, Communities, Globe

How living through guidance of NVC brings influences and shifts in individual & collective living for practitioners include, but not limited to,

• More life-serving, connection, clarity and compassion in self, in interpersonal relationships and in groups
• Emotional Intelligence in processing emotions and what we experience in our bodies
• Emotional & Mental Health
• More clear & quality connection with life in self and with others
• Fosters clarity & authenticity in expressions
• Cultivation of Empathy and relating with self & others with empathetic presence.
• More harmony : With NVC many easily avoidable conflicts get avoided. But when & where conflicts are happening in self, relationships or groups, NVC gets used for mediation, conflict resolution & restoration.
• Shifting from habitual reactions to more choices in how to live and relate with life through conscious responses

Marshall Rosenberg - The father of Nonviolent Communication and development of NVC

Practice of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) was developed & promoted by Dr Marshall Rosenberg Ph.D from 1960s. Marshall Rosenberg hence is referred by some as the father of Nonviolent Communication by some.

Marshall Rosenberg studied psychology and did his Ph.D at university. He then was in Clinical Psychology practice. He first was made aware about by some of his professors at University and then himself was seeing some challenges in how clinical psychology is practiced and how our habitual language, thinking, ways of communicating and social structures & systems contribute to emotional & physical violence and alienation from life within ourselves and from life in others.

In the exploration of potentially more life-serving practices and ways of communicating emerged Nonviolent Communication (NVC), which is integration of many things, and communication being one part of it.

NVC is inspired from the principals of non-violence and humanistic psychology.

How Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Works?

NVC identifies ways language, thinking and communicating, which potentially alienate us from connection with life in us and with others.

And NVC provides ways of focussing attention, practices and processes, which can create quality of connection with life in us and with others, guiding us towards more connected & fulfilling relationships.

NVC Giraffe Language and Jackal Language

Marshall Rosenberg while teaching NVC playfully used 2 symbolic animals.Giraffe and Jackal.

NVC Jackal thinks & communicates in ways (Jackal language) which increases potential for alimentation & disconnection from life in self & others.

NVC Giraffe thinks, speaks & focusses in ways which are more connected with life, and increases potential for connection with life and compassion. Nonviolent Communication is also called as Giraffe language.

The name 'Nonviolent Communication', 'Compassionate Communication' and other names

As a child Marshall Rosenberg had seen violence, and from childhood Marshall had quest to understand what contributes to people engaging in violent acts, and on the other hand what contributes to people being compassionate.

In this quest, he studied Psychology at University, then comparative religions. Marshalls work also was inspired from nonviolence icons Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi, and principals of nonviolence.

Violence does not happen merely in physical form, but there is also emotional violence, hurt & pain that happens through how people think and communicate, which many times also is precursor to the physical violence.

As this NVC consciousness, and its practices of focusing and communicating come with intention and potential for reducing emotional and subsequent physical violence, hence the name 'Nonviolent Communication'

Even though it was named as 'Nonviolent Communication', Marshall and many practitioners were not completely comfortable and settled with the name.
One reason also being the name 'Nonviolent' suggests 'What we do not want'. The practice of NVC instead focuses more on 'What we want'.

From its name "Nonviolent Communication' is also perceived and identified as language model or communication process. Yes, it is about communication, and provides guidance & process about how to communicate in ways which can be more life serving. But communication is only part of it. It is integration of many things, which tried to serve, and do serve many aspects of individual & collective living.

Alternate names used for Nonviolent Communication are 'Compassionate Communication', 'Need Based Communication', 'Conscious Communication', 'Empowering Communication', 'Life-Serving Communication', 'Compassionate Connection' etc

Compassionate Communication proposes that Compassion is natural to us. But while life happens, it is also easy to alienate from our natural compassion through habitual ways of thinking & communicating.
NVC makes us aware about potentially life-alienating ways, and suggests ways of relating which can create more potential for compassion.

NVC Learning | Nonviolent Communication Training Courses | Practice Groups

Most common suggested way to learn & practice NVC is through sessions or workshop with Nonviolent Communication trainer.

Marshall Rosenberg, founder of NVC has written some books. Main book being, 'Nonviolent Communication - A Language of Life', also published with title 'Nonviolent Communication - A Language of ' which can be and are used for understanding NVC, while perhaps the books may not cover some practical guidance needed for living NVC

There is theory in NVC which can be inviting for some, or can raise doubts or resistance for some. The shifts perhaps can be better experienced when theory gets put in practice with needed intentions, consciousness & skills.

Integrating NVC like other skill development requires practice.Also it is easy to learn and then forget practicing or not able to access NVC consciousness when and where needed.
Being in NVC practice groups can help to learn, deepen and sustain consciousness and skills of Non-violent communication practice.